Working together – Team Work as a Parenting Skill
The most effective parenting skill in establishing child discipline is working together. It is effective in dealing with behavior problems of children of all age groups and children of your own or your spouse’s from a previous relationship. Biological or foster parents can benefit from this skill of team work.
A common ploy of children’s behavior is to ask a parent for something, either an item or an activity. If the answer is not desirable, they turn around and go to the other parent. This can lead to issues when the parents come together and realize each gave a different answer for the activity. The parents are now faced with a serious problem.
The solution is simple. Parents need to work as a team; they should discuss matters openly and come to an agreement. Once they agree upon an action plan, they must stick to it and under all circumstances support each other, at least in the presence of the children.
An even more practical plan is to divide the activities on the basis of preference. For instance, one parent can handle outdoor activities while the other can handle indoor activities. This will prevent the children from being able to play one parent against the other.
It’s a good idea to establish a norm that children must take the approval of both parents in each situation. This works very well in most situations except at times when one parent is not available.
No matter which method you decide to use for making decisions, all parents need to agree on the rules and steps to follow. Once you’ve decided, then go to your children and explain the situation.
Letting your children know that you work together as a team is important. If they are old enough to understand the situation, it will work to deter future parent playing. If they are not old enough to understand, establishing this routine and foundation of parenting will prevent parent playing from occurring.
More than just parent playing is at stake when parents need to work together. Parenting decisions aren’t just limited to going to the park or watching TV. They also include what type and kind of education? Which religion or faith a child should be brought up in? What type of child disciplinary measures should be taken? All of these questions and more need to be addressed. So that all parents are on the same page on what they want or think for their children’s behavior and child discipline needs.
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