Parenting Guru

Q. “My seven year old boy sometimes awakens screaming in the middle of the night. When we go into his room he is sitting straight up in bed, staring straight ahead. We try to calm him down but he isn’t even aware that we are in his room. After a few minutes, he goes back to sleep. If we awaken him, he doesn’t even know why we’re there, as he remembers nothing about his dream.”

A. He can’t remember his dream because it wasn’t a dream. He was having a night terror.

Scientists have studied brain wave (EEG) patterns, and concluded that we go through a series of four stages while falling asleep. We start at stage one and progress through the third and fourth stages. Within about 90 minutes we go into our deepest sleep.

It is interesting to note that we don’t dream during any of these stages. If you awaken someone during this time, they probably won’t remember anything. The only thing they may say is that they were “thinking”.

Following stage four is “rapid eye movement” (REM” sleep. This is a totally different stage, and it is here that we start dreaming. If you were to watch someone, you would see the eyes darting back and forth. Dreams last for 45 minutes or so, and then we go back to non-REM sleep for about an hour. The pattern goes on throughout the night, and the non-REM stages get lighter. That is what the old saying “an hour before midnight is worth two after” pertains to.

It is when we dream that we can have nightmares. These are usually Hollywood style productions in full colour that seem very real at the time.

Night terrors, are different as they occur in the fourth stage of sleep. Sleepwalkers and talkers are active during this time as well. No one knows the cause of night terrors, but fortunately most children outgrow them. Sometimes they seem linked to stress.

Of course they are very disturbing to the parents and siblings, but they really don’t harm the child. It’s actually best if you can stand to, to just leave him alone. You even said yourself that he goes back to sleep in a short while. As for sleepwalking, the same advice applies. You do, however, want to make sure he’s safe from falling down the stairs or out of a window.

Night terrors are common in children aged 3 to 6, and may continue even beyond then. They do not indicate that there is anything seriously wrong with your child. Hard though it may be at the time, the best tactic really is to ignore them, and to try to get some sleep yourself.

For more expert tips on child behavior problems and for his excellent book, why not visit Dr. Noel Swanson’s website? You can also find many more of Dr. Noel Swanson free articles on parenting here.

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