How to Get Your Child to Do His Homework
Most children hate doing homework; it restricts their freedom to play and is a grim reminder of school. They wonder why school has to continue at home also. So, it is quite normal for children to put up some kind of a fuss, which could be gentle grumbling or outright refusal.
While parents and teachers have learnt their lessons and can see the long-term benefits of studying, the children have yet to acquire such wisdom. Right now they think it is a pointless hassle that deprives them of doing fun things. Moreover, the child who finds the work hard finds the whole exercise even more demoralizing and discouraging. Under these circumstances, who would want to do homework?
So, if you want your child to do the homework, present it as a pleasant activity so that it erases all the negatives attached to it in the child’s mind. Of course, even your best efforts cannot bring that much of a revolution that your child will hardly be able to wait to do his homework. So, don’t even harbor such illusions. If he is willing to get this homework done and out of the way, it is good enough.
Here are some suggestions to make homework slightly more interesting:
1. Don’t fight with your child; it doesn’t help at all, but can make matters worse. Think of innovative ways of getting it done. For instance, you can modify your home environment and routines in such a manner that encourage good study habits. Always think positive, and give more rewards than punishments.
2. If your child finds it difficult to complete the daily assignments given, check with the school about how much homework is expected and how long it should take. In case of genuine difficulty, consult the teacher and follow the instructions. As a rule your child should not be spending more than an hour on homework. More than that would be drudgery and difficult to do after a full day at school.
3. Create a place that is conducive to working. It is hard to get homework done if you have to do it on your lap while everyone else is watching TV. Maybe have a rule about no TV until everyone’s homework is done. Make a cleared space on the kitchen table, or a table or desk in her bedroom, that is clear from distractions and interruptions. Ideally set up an area that is exclusive to your child.
4. Provide help and support. Don’t do it for them, but do help them to get started, or to find the books they need. If they need to do some research on the internet, maybe sit with them and help them find the info they need. Answer their spelling questions (unless it is a spelling test!) If they are having problems with math, work through the problem with them. Above all, though, stay calm! Getting frustrated with the inability to solve obviously simple questions won’t help!
5. Be generous with praise and encouragement. Express delight at every step; don’t wait till the end to say a good word. Your first goal is to get the homework done; you can think of quality later on. In fact, leave the content part of it to the teacher to correct and improve. If you have supported the homework effort, you have inculcated diligence and persistence. However, in the beginning you may have to help with spelling and punctuation mistakes.
6. If necessary, set up a reward chart that explicitly rewards homework completion by means of extra privileges, such as TV, or family treats or activities. Again, focus first on rewarding the regular completion of work. Later on you can reward higher grades. Setting up a regular schedule is often helpful.
7. If there is a specific subject that is causing problems, do something about it. See the teacher and try to find a way to turn this into a successful experience for your child.
8. You can help your child break up long-term projects into smaller units so that he feels encouraged after completing each unit. This will help him learn to organize and plan ahead.
9. If you don’t have so much time, you may find out about a homework club. Many schools offer to supervise homework after school. Many children like doing their homework with their friends under the guidance of the teacher rather than at home with other family members, TV, meals and all the other distractions.
10. Above all, focus on helping your child to experience success. Failure breeds discouragement which leads to giving up. Success, on the other hand, is motivating and encourages more attempts. Do whatever you can to make the homework experience a success – either in itself, or by means of the rewards that it earns.
Dr. Noel Swanson writes regularly for Yes Parenting website and also has a free newsletter on children’s behavior problems.
Click here for other unique parenting articles.