Parenting Guru

Expectations are important in life as they form the foundation of our conduct and behavior. Parents have expectations that form a vague picture of what their children should grow up to be. These expectations are formed unconsciously from our own wants and desires.

The key is to have positive and reasonable expectations for your children. How do you establish a set of positive child discipline expectations? How do you know if your child discipline expectation is even reasonable? These aren’t easy questions to answer.

It helps to read books, do some research and educate yourself about what to expect from your child at every stage. These books are written by experts and experienced parents. They will help you get a fair idea of what to expect.

These books will also help you look at your child more objectively. It means that you will look at the child and his capacity without bringing your own desires and aspirations into it. For instance, if the established guideline is that children don’t develop full sentence speech till they are at least a year old, expecting a full sentence out of your six-month old isn’t a reasonable expectation.

Children cannot be compared, and it is one of the most common mistakes parents make when they compare their child with the neighbor’s. If your child happens to be average in studies, try your best to help him improve but learn to accept it. All children are not born to be geniuses. Your child might have some other talent; look for it and develop that instead of harping on grades.

Remember, unreasonable expectations lead to disappointment. You can save yourself a lot of frustration if you keep your expectations reasonable. Unreasonable expectations can damage the self-esteem of the child irreparably. So, be very conscious of what you expect your child do; he may not be able to measure up to some of your expectations.

Once you’ve established what is reasonable as an expectation in child behavior or child discipline in different areas, formulate a set of goals and hold to them. Make sure to reward your children for meeting those expectations and encourage them to reach more, once they’ve reached one.

Often times, having had the success of reaching and meeting the first expectation, your children will be able to meet that higher expectation. The biggest thing to remember is to not push your desires onto your children. If you were never good in sports but you wanted to be the star athlete of your school, to make that dream come true, don’t push your child to be a superstar against his or her will. Also, don’t force your child into athletics just because he or she is good at it. That’s placing your expectations from your past onto your children. That only creates a negative environment, child behavior problems and child discipline issues. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.

Visit visit http://www.good-child-guide for some effective and valuable advice on child behaviour problems.

Dr. Noel Swanson has a free newsletter on children’s behavior problems and is a leading contributor to Yes Parenting website.

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