Parenting Guru

Cutting back on expenses? Most families are.

Asking children to share the burden of spending less is a reasonable course of action.

If you’ve lost your job and cuts need to be made, it’s reasonable to explain to children that the family will be making major cutbacks. The key is to reassure them that your family is safe, that you’re in control of the family finances and that their basic needs will be met. Luxury items will be put on hold.

Even if no one has lost a job, you can still communicate to your children that your family will be spending less each month, therefore, some of the privileges that they are used to having are being scaled back.

In either case, your child is likely to have questions, “Will we lose our house?” “Are we poor now?” “Why can’t I have these shoes?”

Reassuring your children that their basic needs will be met is important. Pointing out that your family is a team and as a team each person has a contribution s/he can make on how to spend less money is a great way to approach the issue, too.

When framed in a positive way this is an opportunity to teach your children how to save money and spend wisely which are critical life skills to have. Listed below are 10 practical solutions you can use with your kids.

10 Tips for Teaching Kids to Spend Less:

1) Shop from a list. Before you go into any store, make a list of what you need. Don’t stray from your list and don’t let your children stray from their list. This is a key strategy for reducing impulse buying. It takes discipline and discipline is essential for reining in spending. When your child asks for an item while you’re at a store ask: “Is it on our list?” If not, don’t buy it.

2) Do product comparisons. Before you and your children go shopping, have your child do some research on a product you’ll be buying. My children wanted a bean bag chair for their tree house. They made a list of three stores and called each store to inquire about the size, color and cost of the chair. (Before the calls began we wrote a script for them to follow with proper phone etiquette.) Not only did they save money, they also learned about customer service. Online research can also be done.

3) Clearance aisles. Most stores have a clearance area. Teach your children to shop there first.

4) Make marketing strategies transparent. Point out that the expensive items are placed at eye level while the cheaper goods in a grocery store are on the bottom shelf. Show them how impulse items are displayed near the check out lane.

5) Have a family meeting. At your family meeting, have a discussion about wants vs. needs. See what your children come up with. Then show them the reality. Teach your children about the cost of necessary items such as electricity, food, insurance and house payments. Budget money that can then be used for “wants” to contain unnecessary spending.

6) Brainstorm ways to save money together. Kids are very creative. Let them use their creative juices on how to save money. For instance, you could brainstorm on how to save money on DVD rentals. Ideas might be: trading movies with other families; using the $1.00 kiosks at retailer outlets; and checking out DVDs at the library.

7) Shop garage sales. Most kids love a treasure hunt. If you have items you need, have them scrounge through piles at garage sales. Or, have a garage sale yourself to make money and let the kids keep money from toys they contribute to the sale.

Use coupon sites. Some popular sites are: http://www.coupons.com ; http://www.CurrentCodes.com http://www.couponmountain.com ; http://www.coolsavings.com; http://www.retailmenot.com ; http://www.couponcabin.com. Give your kids half of the money saved from the coupons they find.

9) Set limits on the number of times to eat out. Planning a weekly menu can help cut down these costs. Involve your children in menu planning and find ways for them to help cook the meal they selected.

10) Set a budget for kids’ activities. Most children are overscheduled. Take this opportunity to talk with your child about what cuts can be made and have your child prioritize the activities they want to do.

Helping your child to learn how to manage money wisely can save your family money in the short-term and can help them be wise consumers in the long-term.

The majority of people inherit their beliefs and values from their parents. So along with Mum’s eyes and occasionally Dad’s nose, we are likely to become conditioned by their set of rules around money, which in turn came from their previous generation. This may work very well if your surname is Rothschild or Getty but for most of us we may be carrying around a set of rules and beliefs which no longer serve us.

For example, if your parents or grandparents experienced major economic events such as the Great Depression or the austere years during and after WWII, then these environmental factors will have made a lasting impression on financial beliefs. There may be “positive” values such as thrift, saving and security or “disempowering” beliefs around scarcity, fear and an aversion to risk. What constitutes positive or negative is of course down to your beliefs.

The question is, are these deep routed beliefs helping or hindering you today and what messages are you passing on to the next generation and teaching your children about money?

In the Industrial age the perceived wisdom was to study hard, get a good job and then try and hang on to it until the gold watch. People spoke freely of the ‘job for life’ and concepts such as downsizing or outsourcing were relatively unknown. The underlying beliefs were one of scarcity and lack. A safety first approach which enabled many to save for their retirements with the comfort of a social security safety net.

In the Information age where the world has become in many ways smaller and flatter, both the job security and the safety net are disappearing. In preparing the next generation and teaching your children about money it is important to consider the skills, attitudes and beliefs that will be necessary to succeed.

Let’s consider an example of two children from the same neighbourhood, whose parents are of a similar age and enjoy similar incomes and lifestyles. In the Smith’s household finances are discussed in hushed tones and never in front of the children. They witness arguments over credit cards and the stress of unpaid bills. If the child asks for things they are met with replies of “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “we just can’t afford it”.

Compare with the Jones household, here money is discussed more openly, with budgets set and adhered to. Bills are paid on time and a little is saved every month. When the child asks for treats they are encouraged to pay for it themselves out of an allowance, or to consider whether having ‘this ‘is better than ‘that’. They learn to understand the value of things as well as the price. They may be given the opportunity to work around the house or to explore other ways of earning money.

In this simple scenario it is clear which child has the better chance of growing up with empowering beliefs about money.

Children unquestionably pick up many of their values from their parents, either through conscious actions or unconscious awareness. Through a combination of financial education and creating an environment of opportunity, your children will be better equipped for financial success.

Storing your
Christmas ornaments can be difficult, because it can often be hard to figure
out what types of containers will be best for which ornaments. This can lead to
a lot of confusion as to where specific items are stored, as well as broken
ornaments, so proper storage is important. If you can avoid breaking things,
and keep your ornaments stored safely, you will be able to use them again year
after year.

<b><i>Container
Size</i></b>

Be sure that you
are storing your ornaments and breakables in the correct sizes of containers.
You will want to use containers that are suitable for what you are storing. For
instance, some things can be put into larger storage containers, such as big
garlands, stockings, or Christmas lights. Items that do not have breakable
pieces, and that are larger, can easily be put into bigger storage containers,
and this will allow for these items to be stored much more securely. However,
if you have smaller items, you are going to need to store these in smaller
containers, so that they are stored securely. Try not to just throw all of your
tree ornaments in the same big tub. First, put each ornament or set of
ornaments into smaller boxes that will hold them securely in a way that
prevents breakage. Then, you can put all of the smaller boxes into the same
bigger tub.

To find the
right sizes of containers, you will also need to separate your items correctly.
Another useful tip to follow when it comes to storing your Christmas ornaments
is to make sure you store them in containers with like items. For instance, all
of your lights should be in one large tub, while all of your nativity scene
figures should be in a small box. Put all the tinsel in one place, all the
balls in another, and so on. You will want to keep things separated and in
their own sized containers for the best chance at safe and easy storage. It
also means that next Christmas, it is much easier to find the specific items
you need, when you need them.

Remember that
for Christmas balls and other decorations, storage containers with built in
compartment to separate them and keep them from knocking together are very
useful tools for you. They might cost a bit more, but they will save you a lot
in the long run by keeping your items safe for you for seasons to come. You can
also get irregular sized containers for big items, like wreaths or trees.

<b><i>Storage
Materials</i></b>

There are two
parts to using appropriate materials when storing Christmas ornaments. First of
all, use good materials when wrapping ornaments and storing them in their
individual boxes. Paper or other packing materials should be used on fragile
items even if they are stored separately in a box without anything else near
them. You will still want to wrap them securely so that you can be sure they
will store safely and keep all year.

Secondly, you
need to double check which types of materials you are using to store your
Christmas and holiday items in. Cardboard or other types of boxes can be used,
but only if they are used for smaller items and then the boxes are put into
something more secure. To store the sets of cardboard boxes, and to store
larger things, you want to use secure plastic tubs or containers with lids that
are air-tight.

There are
several reasons to use these things when you are storing your ornaments. First
of all, you will probably be keeping them in the basement or attic, and you
want to keep them safe and free of pests and dust. Also, you want to keep them
water-tight as well. If moisture gets into your storage containers, you will
find that things break and are ruined much more quickly, even if they do not
become water-logged.

<b><i>Where to
Store?</i></b>

Another aspect
to storing your Christmas ornaments is to store them all in appropriate places.
Although the attic might have much more room than the basement, you have to
think about what you are storing and how it will all be affected by changing
temperatures. If you have glass ornaments, or even plastic ones, they might be
damaged by extremely hot temperatures or extremely cold temperatures.
Therefore, you do want to think carefully about your items and make sure that
they are being stored in a controlled environment.

<b><i>Labeling</i></b>

Nothing ruins a
Christmas more than your favorite box of ornaments being accidently donated to
charity, or set out with the trash. Always be sure that when you are storing
your ornaments, you label them correctly and keep the boxes together. This will
keep your ornaments safe for you for years to come.

Jeremy Foster is a freelance writer. Mr. Foster writes about
home maintenance and personal organization, often discussing specific topics
such as Christmas
ornament storage.

If you are struggling with unruly or even embarrassing actions on behalf of your youngster, learning the finer points of behavior modification in children makes sense.

Something that can trip up your efforts, for example, is expecting too much or too little from your behavior modification plans. Unrealistic expectations are a problem because they will prevent you from getting the results you want.

Chances are, as a parent, you have a clear idea of the results you want to see in your home. In fact, depending upon your child’s behavior challenges, you may be downright desperate for positive results.

You are not alone.

Thousands of parents just like you are asking what they can do to bring peace and order into their homes and help their child to grow up into a responsible adult. Child behavior modification may be a fancy name, but every parent understands the concept perfectly.

* Aligning behavior expectations with reality is key.

What happens when you attempt to guide your child into behavior changes but set the bar too low? Let’s face it; change is difficult. None of us is willing to go through the pain of change without understanding we are working towards something better.

If you ask your child to stop back talking, for example, but let slide eight out of ten episodes of that behavior, your child knows instinctively this is not a very important issue to you. Your actions do not line up with your words.

Nothing will make your child ignore you faster.

What about when you demand too much from your child? Is that even possible?

Sure, it’s possible. Using the same example of back talking, imagine informing your child that to fix this problem, she must ask for permission to speak each and every time she has something to say.

Sound ridiculous? Sure. But that’s the problem with setting too high of expectations for behavior modification. When your child realizes it’s not reasonable or maybe even possible to comply with your stated expectations, she will either cooperate out of fear of consequences (and tune you out as a respected authority in her life) or simply rebel.

Either way means you will have new problems to deal with.

The sensible answer to this dilemma is lining up your behavior expectations with reality. A child who is back talking needs to know in no uncertain terms that such behavior is unacceptable. The boundaries and consequences of that behavior need to be clearly explained to him and appropriate to the situation.

When it comes to the topic of back talking, the underlying issue is respect and it can be extremely useful to consider how respect is used or abused throughout your entire homelife. For example, it’s tough to expect a teen to be respectful if they are consuming a daily diet of disrespectful TV programs. Connect the dots in your own home to see where your child’s behavior challenges might be coming from.

After your child’s inevitable testing of these new boundaries, your job, mom or dad, is to enforce, firmly and matter-of-factly, the consequences you explained upfront. To be an understanding, even sympathetic, but unmovable wall.

Behavior modification in children is a straightforward process with lots of variables added in. No one knows or loves your child the way you do which puts you in the best position to be of help in guiding this young life.

Arm yourself with time-tested resources and concepts and dive into this most important life arena. Nothing is more important than the raising of the next generation and you, mom or dad, have a front row seat.

Many people are interested in adopting a child. Some of them could not conceive on their own while others simply want to extend their help. Learn important things you should know about this big responsibility.

The foster care adoption system provides temporary family care and shelter to any child from birth to 18 years old. Most of these children are left to fend for themselves at a very young age. Some have parents incapable of providing their basic needs, a loving and caring environment. Some of the children have been through very rough experiences in their own homes like physical, emotional and sexual abuse as well as deprivation and other negative experiences.

It was currently recorded in the US that the average stay of children in their foster homes is 31 months. Half of the children get to be permanently adopted. The process to get into foster care adoption may vary, depending on the policies implemented by agencies and areas. The prospective foster parents undergo training and have to obtain a license. The process also involves a lot of paperwork, background check and a home study.

Parents are also provided stipends to contribute to the expenses entailed in taking care of the children. These include clothing, school supplies and toiletries. Supervised visitation of biological parents is also done in the foster care system. Length of the visit may vary.

Of course, foster care adoptions have its advantages and disadvantages. One advantage is that it reassures parents that they are providing a very positive contribution to children and their biological families. It also builds a strong emotional bond between the foster parents and the children; likewise, visibly benefiting both parties in the process. The state also provides compensation to the foster families.

There are some disadvantages also. First, both foster parents/family and children undergo the pain of separation, once and if a child is reunited to his family of origin. The stipend for foster parents is not enough to provide for the overall needs of the child. Hence, foster care adoption may also mean that foster parents have the resources to be able to tend to the needs of the child. Thus, emotional and financial strains may be created within the foster family. It also creates a feeling somehow that there is never enough support or resources for the children in foster care.

Foster care adoption may require a certain amount of money. Private and agency adoptions may require a starting amount of $5,000 to $40,000. The amount may vary, depending on the required documents the foster care adoption arrangements would entail. These factors include services, travel expenses, birthmother expenses, documents or other requirements from the state, among other factors. International adoptions costs go between $7,000 and $30,000.

In the US, the foster care system is not that costly though. One of the factors that determine the permanence of foster care adoption is the result of the rehabilitation of parents after a period of six months to more than a year. If there were very little or no changes seen after such time, parental rights are terminated (TPR). Before reaching this point, case workers must be able to tell whether the child’s case is heading towards this direction. He is then transferred to a family that has an intention to permanently adopt him. The court will process the adoption commencing once the TPR is deemed effective. The adoption also entails that the right of the biological parent to know who the adoptive parents are becomes void. Although in many cases, adoptive parents were able to build a good relationship with the birth parents.