Parenting Guru

Qualities needed for raising children are quite different from qualities needed on the job. Many times parents have difficulty adjusting to the role of parents and try to run the family as they would a corporation. This can stifle the child’s desire to achieve and drive them from the parent. Some of the keys for cultivating growth in you children are listed below.

A tolerance for repeated errors. Children are learning everything there is to know about life. A toddler, as they learn to walk, falls down a lot. In elementary school no child completes a year of arithmetic without errors. Teens make many mistakes in the complex arena of personal relationships. It is through these errors that they learn.

Stability. Knowing that home is a safe, nurturing environment where they can come and be loved just as they are is vital to the emotional health of children. Strive to make your home as stable and safe as possible.

Plenty of time for family activities. Doing things together as a family creates a sense of unity and solidarity among family members. Many parents are so caught up in the need to make more money, or even in their own interests and hobbies that there is no time left for family activities.

Patience. Even the best behaved child can try a parent’s patience at times, and some children try a parent’s patience almost constantly. Cultivating patience, while avoiding being overly permissive, is essential to a good relationship with a child.

Emphasis on process, surprises, and changes as the child matures. Fast growing children can constantly surprise and delight us with new knowledge, new achievements and different ideas. Being open to change and delighted by it, rather than bemoaning it and wishing for a previous time when”he was so sweet” will make the child feel valued.

A total commitment to others. There is no greater commitment to others than becoming a parent. The child will consume your life until they are out of your home, and a strong commitment will follow them even then. And you will be stronger for it.

A softness and willingness to bend. While the commitment you make to your child will require a strength you may not know you have, your love of them requires a softness that may be out of character. As they grow and reach the age where they begin to reason with you, even if there are many errors in their reasoning at first, you must listen with an open heart and be willing to change your stance when they have a good argument.

A tolerance for chaos. There will be times when even the most well ordered house full of children appears to be in total chaos. In the midst of the constant process of change that is growing up you cannot expect to be able to maintain order at all times. There will be times of either physical or emotional chaos that will pull the whole family in. Be aware that these are opportunities for a new way of doing or looking at things.

An understanding that failure promotes growth. If everything were perfect all the time there would be no stimulus for change and growth. Since you do not want to change the child’s diaper for the rest of its life you are pleased that the child eventually realizes that a wet, messy diaper is uncomfortable. Avoid the impulse to smooth the way for a young child so that they never experience failure. Someday they will have to face the real world and you want them to learn from little, manageable failures so that they can be prepared to face the world as an adult.

A desire to promote independence in others even if their ways are not your ways. Your children will, most likely, not follow in your footsteps. Give them the opportunity to cultivate their interests, even if they are not your interests. They will have different talents than you , and if you do not give them the opportunity to develop their talents they will be stuck in a place that does not make them comfortable.

A relaxed acceptance of embarrassment. From the time they are born children will have the capacity to embarrass you. This will be exaggerated when they approach their teen years. While it is an accepted fact that teens are embarrassed by their parents, it is talked about less that teens will embarrass their parents. It is all part of growing up.

Gentleness. Infants need to be treated with exceeding gentleness physically. As children grow they will need extreme gentleness emotionally. This does not mean never confronting them over their behavior. It does mean confronting them with compassion.

A true respect for your child’s activities free from comparison with your own. If you are a father who excelled in football and you have a daughter who is a high school cheerleader this is easy to do. But what if you were the star quarterback and you have a son who is a barely functional guard on the C team but enjoys it. Or what if your son prefers ballet? Look for the good things about your child’s activities and respect the amount of work they put into being good at what they want to be good at.

Ability to listen patiently while the child talks. If you listen to the prattle of a preschooler, or the winding description of a movie by a six year old you will keep them talking to you. Then, if you are there and still listening without judgement, you will hear the really important things from your 14 or 16 year old. If you don’t listen when they are young you will lose them and it will be really difficult to get them back when they are in their teens and beyond.

Ability to put another’s needs ahead of your own. This starts even before birth. An infant will not survive if a parent does not put their own needs ahead of the infants. It continues. Many teenagers would not survive without their parents putting the teen’s needs ahead of their own.

While no one can be a perfect parent, cultivating these qualities in yourself will assure that you will be a good parent. A good parent is all that you need to be.

Lynn Doxon has had a part in raising three adopted daughters, two stepsons and 35 foster children. she has three grandsons, two of whom are being supported by their mother’s at home business at www.payitforward4profits.com

Knowing and accepting that things will not be the same as before will allow you to be more relaxed and accepting of your new status as a mother.

Its only normal that the demands of being a new mother have left you feeling somewhat overwhelmed and too tired to do much else. But, the extra effort you can muster to exercise is well worth it. Working out will increase your energy level and your sense of well-being. And, it will help restore your muscle strength and return you back to your pre-pregnancy shape.

Once you have been given the go-ahead from your health-care provider, you can start exercising. Walking is a very good way to ease into an exercise regime and something that you can do with your baby. The fresh air will do both of you lots of good.

Nutrition is also very important in the first months after delivery, especially if your breastfeeding. While it may be quite tempting to start a crash diet to return to your pre-pregnancy clothes, dieting can deny your body the vital nutrients it needs to heal and nurse your baby. A slow and steady approach is far better in the long run, and you’ll find that you will be close if not lower than your original weight within a few months.

Many new mothers are taken aback by feelings of loneliness, exhaustion, and helplessness after the birth of their child. These emotions are normal. In fact, it is estimated that about 7 in 10 mothers get what is called the baby blues. These feelings can be confusing and scary, but usually fade quickly.

When you are feeling down or blue, dont forget to remind yourself that you have taken on a new and very challenging job. Having confusing feelings doesnt mean that you are a bad mother. Rather, it is signaling that your body is adjusting to the normal changes that follow the birth of a child.

If, however, your feelings are more intense and marked by feelings of severe anxiety, despair, or guilt, it is important to seek help. There are very successful treatments for postpartum depression that are available. There is no need to suffer from this condition in silence.

Fitness

Exercising after giving birth is important not only to your physical state but also to your mental and social well-being. Once you have received clearance from your doctor, usually six weeks, you can get moving.

This time is crucial in adapting to an exercise routine. Moms who exercise soon after giving birth are more likely to continue to do so than those who wait a long time to start.

The sooner you start, the better for your body and your mental health. Exercising will lift your moods and break up the monotony of feeding, changing, burping and napping.

Exercise can help stabilize your hormones, banish extra body fat, increase core strength and promote overall health.

If you don’t want to leave your child, look for classes that involve the baby.

Mother/baby classes also will allow you to meet other moms at the same stage in life. This can increase your emotional security and provide you with a support system.

Julian Hall of GiftBabies.co.uk – The
Baby Christening Gifts Company – The Most Unique,
Innovative Gift Ideas for Babies, Christening Gifts, Newborn Gifts, Personalised
Gifts, Organic Clothing, Nappies, Blankets, New Baby Gifts

Many kids today are ill prepared for remembering large amounts of information. They spend time studying and developing an understanding of the material. Yet, when it comes time to filing it in their brains so that it’s there the next day for the test, they can’t do it.

Schools should be teaching them how to improve their memory so they can file and retrieve information with less effort. Unfortunately, they don’t. This leaves kids stressed out, frustrated and unable to perform to their capabilities.

Since getting high grades is so important, it’s not surprising that kids will try anything to improve their memory. A survey in 2005 conducted by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America found that up to 19% of college students take drugs to improve their memory and concentration.

Here are 5 tips for parents to help their kids develop a strong memory starting today.

1 – Look for associations – kids need to see how material is connected to what they are studying or have already studied. That means taking a moment and reflecting on what place this new information has in their overall knowledge. This habit will become automatic once it’s practiced a few times.

2 – Create images – a picture is worth a thousand words. Have your child stop for a moment and create an image of the vocabulary word or the definition of a science term. Once they do, they can recall this image during the test and get the answer immediately.

3 – Create stories – sometimes it’s necessary to create a story that incorporates a lot of information. For example, the causes of the American Revolution can be combined into a mini movie that would include your child’s favorite sports stars, singers or friends. The story can be as wacky as necessary as long as it includes the important points.

4 – Pay attention to what you eat – you can’t improve your memory without a healthy brain. If you don’t feed the brain what it needs, it won’t respond when the time comes. Stop fooling yourself. Candy and junk food are the enemy when it comes to a strong memory. Fruits, vegetables, protein and complex carbohydrates will improve memory function almost overnight.

5 – Visualize – parents should not discount the power of visualizing success. If you can get your child to spend just a few minutes imagining doing well the day of the test, you will be amazed at the results. If they do just that, they will improve their memory and much more.

It is never too late to develop memory skills. And once your child does, there will be no need to look to drugs for help. Their success in school will come naturally.

Jim Sarris has been a math/Spanish/ESL teacher for 15 years and is the author of two books on memory: Comic Mnemonics for Spanish Verbs and his latest, Memory Skills Made Easy, a book/DVD that teaches your child memory strategies they don’t learn in school. For his free report titled, “Why Your Child Can’t Remember What They Study”, visit his website at Improve your child’s memory

There are many important factors to consider when trying to ensure your baby gets a good night sleep. While one method alone will not work for everyone if you do persevere then it is just a matter of finding one that suits you and your baby.

In the first few months of a babies life they will not be able to tell the difference between night and day. This causes them to sleep more hours in daytime than at night. The daytime sleep is made up of many naps throughout the day. As the baby gets older they will gradually erase one of the naps and this will continue as they get older. A young child will never be able to see one full morning and afternoon without napping some of the time though the naps get less frequent.

From a very early age you need to set out a baby sleep schedule and to stick with it even though sometimes you may find this difficult. The idea is to instill in the babies mind that now is the time for bed because certain things are happening. This set routine will not only assist you with organizing your time but it will also be appreciated by the baby.

Every mum has their own type of schedule that involves many different things and some of them maybe similar to the ones that have worked for me even though they may be done in a different order. I used to call mine the five step method and I will go through each step so you can see why I do it and how effective it can be. You can integrate any of these methods into your schedule if you wanted to quite easily.

As the baby gets older you can still provide these same five examples though they will be done at different times as the baby develops.

The first Step:
I set aside a specific time of the day for afternoon playtime. This will get the mind of the baby working along with their body. It can be playing with small soft toys or just simple, games of peek-a-boo and other family favorites. The idea is to get the activity out of the way now and as far away as the sleep time as possible so they do not go to bed a little excited and hyperactive.

The Second Step:
After all that energy being used I find this is a good time to give them a bath. Babies normally love the bath time experience nearly as much as the mother. This is a good mother baby bonding session in its own right. By now the baby should be feeling clean and refreshed.

The Third Step:
Before I dress the baby for bed I like to give a 10-15 minutes massage. This is the ultimate relaxing moment for the baby as you give them a gentle rub down on the front and back. Baby massage has many benefits and aids baby development. After the massage has been finished I powder the baby a little then get them into their sleeping clothes. By no the baby should be continuing the winding down toward sleep.

The Forth Step.
I always give a feed before bedtime. After all the energies of the past few hours I think you will find that they are ready to fill tuck into something warm and nourishing. Babies are not unlike adults in many ways. I dont know about you but if I have eaten too much I just want to relax and often fall asleep. Babies do the exact same. After a good feed and still feeling the benefits of the last hour of pre-sleep ritual they should be ready to get into slumber.

The Fifth Step:
If you have done the first four steps correctly the last should be a breeze. You may not need to get into singing, humming, swaying or gyrating mode for this as all your past work is hopefully now going to pay dividends and the baby drops off to sleep of their own accord.

Mission accomplished I pour myself a glass of wine and flop down on the sofa and recap on another eventful day for mother and child. What will tomorrow bring? Who knows.

M. Fynn has written many articles regarding baby care with the aim of assisting mothers and babies through the early months. http://www.babybehavior.net

Unfortunately, unintentional injuries are a leading cause of death and injury for babies and toddlers. However, there are precautions that you can take to ensure the safety of your child.

Nursery
Before you bring your baby home is the ideal time to begin thinking about safety. The best place to start is the nursery where everything should be as safe as it can possibly be.

Your baby will most likely be spending a great deal of time in a cot. Thus, this should be a totally safe environment. Make sure that the slats are close enough together so that your childs head cannot become trapped between them. Screws, bolts and hardware should be tightly in place on the crib to prevent it from coming apart or collapsing. The mattress should be low enough that there is no chance of your baby falling out and bedding should be kept to a minimum to prevent suffocation.

Changing tables are another source of potential danger. A fall from the high surface of one of these tables can be serious. Choose a sturdy, changing table with a guardrail around all four sides. Keep changing supplies such as nappies and wipes within your reach so you dont have to leave your babys side to get them. Dont depend on a safety strap to keep your baby secure. Never leave him or her unattended on a changing table, even for one moment.

Kitchen
The kitchen is one of the most dangerous locations within your home. Some experts recommend that you keep young children out of the room all together. But, this is almost impossible to enforce because of the amount of time parents spend there. Rather, take a proactive approach to eliminating the most serious dangers by following these precautions:

Store dish soap, cleansers, furniture polish, insect spray, and other dangerous products in a high cabinet and out of your childs sight. If you must store something under the sink, use a child-proof lock that refastens automatically every time you close the cabinet door.

Keep cooking utensils, knives, scissors, and other sharp appliances in latched drawers or cabinets.

Keep a fire extinguisher in the kitchen.

All Rooms
Some safety precautions simply apply to each room of your home. Follow these safeguards to protect your baby and the rest of your family.

Install smoke detectors throughout the home and check them monthly to make sure that they are functioning properly.

Place safety plugs in all unused electrical outlets to prevent your child from sticking a finger or toy into the holes.

Ensure that throw rugs are firmly tacked down at the edges. When your baby is learning to crawl and walk, install safety gates at top and bottom of stairs.

Remove houseplants that could be toxic if eaten.

Check floors for small objects that your baby could swallow such as coins, beads, pins, and buttons.

Sharp corners and hard edges of furniture should be covered with cushioned covers and edge protectors.

Anchor tall pieces of furniture, such as bookcases to the wall.

Julian Hall of GiftBabies.co.uk – The
Baby Christening Gifts Company – The Most Unique,
Innovative Gift Ideas for Babies, Christening Gifts, Newborn Gifts, Personalised
Gifts, Organic Clothing, Nappies, Blankets, New Baby Gifts