Parenting Guru

The fundamental rule for all discipline problems is encouraging good behavior instead of punishing bad behavior. It’s a tried and tested method that rewards work better than punishments.

First of all it is important to remove the derogatory connotations attached to the word ‘discipline’. Many people associate punishment with discipline, which isn’t and shouldn’t be the case. More often than not, a reward system works wonders in establishing child discipline. Indeed, as parents, you should make sure that things don’t come to such a pass that punishment is required. Another thing that you need to know as parents is that children are individuals in their own right. No two kids are alike; they need to be treated individually. There is no such guarantee that the method that worked with one child will work with another, too. You have to be as inventive as your children to develop a rapport with them so that they listen to you, and they do what they think will please you.

There is no short-cut as far as disciplining your child is concerned. When one method doesn’t work, you will have to try another; you can’t just throw discipline out of the window and forget about it. As parents, you must know that punishment tactics have more chances of failing; so, try a reward system. You cannot expect positive children’s behavior by meting out negative behavior to them. Children are like mirrors; they reflect you. You can’t yell and demand silence from your child, for example. And, you can’t afford to become hysterical when your child is throwing a tantrum.

Here are some parenting tips for establishing a reward system:

1. Sit down, just the parents, and communicate. Set up a list of child behavior actions and rewards. For example, cleaning up the bedroom without having to be reminded means an extra hour of TV on the weekend.

* Once you have clarity on behavior actions and rewards, you should explain the system to the children. You’ll be surprised that even very small children respond to rewards. It’s a good idea to actively engage the older children in this type of routine change; it will ensure better implementation and the system will run smoothly and many child behavior problems will be avoided. It will give them a sense of achievement and participation in the household decision making process.

* It is most important that you follow through and keep a record. Keeping track of a lot of activities can be hard to do. Use the chart to keep track of where each child stands. This is also a visual reinforcement.

These three steps will help you get started in establishing a reward-based child discipline system in your home to make sure things get done. The bottom line is to use the rewards system more often than resorting to punishment. It is important for setting a positive foundation for self-esteem.

You can get some more valuable tips from http://www.good-child-guide on managing stubborn children and temper problems.

Dr. Noel Swanson frequently writes for Yes Parenting website and also has a free newsletter on children’s behavior problems.

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